| Accordion Content |
Accordion Content - When dating someone for the first time, seriously consider doing so in a group situation or meeting the person at a public place. This will allow you assess your date's behavior in a relatively safe environment.
- Watch for inclinations that your date may be a controlling or dominating person who may try to control your behavior. A person who plans all activities and makes all decisions during a date may also be inclined to dominate in a private setting.
- If the person drives and pays for all expenses, they may think they are justified in using force to get "what they paid for." If you cover some of the expenses, they may be less inclined to use this rationale to justify acting in a sexually coercive manner.
- Avoid using alcohol or other drugs when you definitely do not wish to be sexually intimate with your date. Consumption of alcohol and/or other drugs, by both victim and perpetrator, is commonly associated with acquaintance rape. Drug intoxication can both diminish your capacity to escape from an assault and reduce your date's reluctance to engage in assaultive behavior.
- Avoid behavior that may be interpreted as "teasing." Clearly state what you do and do not wish to do in regard to sexual contact. Such direct communication can markedly reduce a man's inclinations to force unwanted sexual activity or to "feel led on."
- If, despite direct communication about your intentions, your date behaves in a sexually coercive manner, you may use a "strategy of escalating forcefulness - direct refusal, vehement verbal refusal, and, if necessary, physical force."
For example, in one study, the response rated by men as the most likely to get men to stop unwanted advances was the woman vehemently saying, "This is rape and I'm calling the cops."
If verbal protests are ineffective, reinforce your refusal with physical force such as pushing, slapping, biting, kicking, or clawing your assailant.
Men are more likely to perceive their actions as at least inappropriate, if not rape, when a woman protests not only verbally, but also physically.
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